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WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
This article tells ... in graphic detail
... about a killer disease
that's spreading throughout homeworking circles like a dark, fiendish
plague. It's the evil virus known as: Advertis Waytoo Boringus.
And
once it infects YOU, it could mean the death of your business forever!
If the sight of broken headlines and
severely fractured body
copy makes your stomach churn, STOP READING HERE. Otherwise,
slip on
your scrub-greens and join me in the Direct Response Emergency
Room(tm) for some simple (and painless) ad-writing techniques that
can do wonders for your career ... and your bank account!
Right now I am going to examine actual
ads (some that are
running in publications this very minute) and dissect each one ...
bit-
by-bit ... before your very eyes. I am going to tell you exactly
what
is right. And what is wrong. If the ad stinks, I'll tell
you, and if it's
terrific, I'll tell you that too. I'll show you how to avoid
making the
mistakes these dealers made. And how you can save hundreds ...
even
thousands of dollars by doing so. Since ad writing is so important
to
your success, I want to be sure this lesson really sinks in.
There_s
a lot of ground to cover, therefore this article will be presented
in
two parts.
NOTE: If one of these ads happens to
be yours ... lucky you! Why?
Because you are getting a free evaluation telling you how to make it
better! So ... let's get started!
First: Do you remember what I said
in my first article about
headlines? Well, I'll remind you! I said that "60% of all people
who see
your ad will read only the headline and no more." That means if your
headline does not stop your reader and force him or her to read the
rest of your ad... "you ain't gonna make no money!" We
can't have that
now, can we? Nope. This article is dedicated to teaching
you how to
crank out powerful, irresistible headlines that defy people to pass
them by! I call them "Dragon-Slayer" Heads because some of them could
knock even old gasoline-breath Godzilla off his scaly green feet!
So
let's go!
AD CRITIQUE #1:
DOLLARS IN YOUR MAILBOX
Easy & Exciting Mail Order Opportunity!
FREE details. Send LSASE to: XXXXX
Would YOU send for the information on
this program? I wouldn't.
Let's look at the headline. It does nothing to attract you.
It only
states what most dealers today have already heard thousands of
times. It has no hook. It doesn_t grab. It's too
general. Actually,
it's rather boring. This advertiser is trying to get people to
respond
without giving away any inkling of what the "system" involves.
This is
no good, especially today. Do you know why? Because mail
order
today is plagued with too many offers of multi-level plans...
stuffing
envelopes... mailing commission circulars... and similar
work-at-home
programs. Most people who read this ad will automatically say,
"Yeah,
here's another one of these multi-level ... stuff envelope ...
commission circular deals. I've seen 'em all. Why bother
sending the
LSASE?"
The following tip will save you piles of money ...
Do not expect any significant response
to curiosity-type
offers that have no unique positioning. What the heck is positioning?
Let me explain. Positioning is the theme you give to your offer.
It's
what newspaper reporters call their "slant" or "angle." It means
what
key idea is behind the offer. Do you want an example? Okay.
Here it
is:
Which of these two ad headlines attracts your attention most?
"DOLLARS IN YOUR MAILBOX"
... OR ...
"78 YEAR OLD MAN DISCOVERS SNEAKY WAY
TO GET PEOPLE TO SEND YOU
MONEY IN THE MAIL"
Which did you pick? If you have the marketing
and advertising
savvy I think you do, then you probably picked the one about the "78-
year old man." You are not alone. Most readers, too, would
first
respond to an ad with this headline, as opposed to the "Dollars in
Your Mailbox" line. Because it is what I call, "Specifically
Unique." It
gets people conjuring up images in their mind. They wonder, "What
about this 78-year old man? How did he discover this plan?"
People
have not heard this before. It_s fresh and different. If
you want
your ad to stand out from the crowd, say something different.
Do you understand what I mean about positioning
your offer
now? Let me give you another example to make this even more clear.
AD CRITIQUE #2:
RAGS TO RICHES!
Discover little-known success secrets.
Easy! Profitable! Free details with SASE.
Ugh! Look at that poor ol' headline!
The fine woman who wrote
this ad is probably not very happy with the results she is getting.
And you know... this ad could have been 100% more effective if
she had
changed only a few words! That's because this woman, unlike the
previous advertiser, does have relatively clear positioning.
Do you
see her positioning? Take a minute and look at this ad again.
And see
if you can spot the angle she_s using.
Did you catch it? If you didn't,
don't worry. Sometimes it takes
a little practice to instantly spot it. After I'm done with you,
your
eyes will pop out of your head when you see a well-positioned offer.
Now ... back to this "Rags to Riches" ad.
The position here is "Little-known success
secrets." Now
...compare this to the previous "Dollars in Your Mailbox" ad.
All that
ad said was that the method was "Easy & Exciting." I_m not
excited.
Are you excited? It_s simply not enough. It's too
vague. It's too
general. It gives us nothing. No information.
But the "Rags to Riches" ad (despite
the headline), does give us
some information. Instead of saying to ourselves, "This is just
a
stuff envelopes or multi-level scheme." we are more likely to say,
"Hmm... Why are these secrets little known? Do I know them? Who
does
know them? It's probably not a stuff envelope or multi-level program
because everyone knows about them." And so on.
Now ... this ad, although it is doing
something right, still
suffers. A lot. And the problem is with the headline.
So let's stop
complaining and start doing something about it! Hmm... let's
see.
Instead of "Rags to Riches," how about if we put the main idea of this
ad right up in the headline. First, decide what_s so unique about
this
plan. Who developed it? Is this person, or his or her situation,
unique in any way? For example:
"Japanese Millionaire Reveals The Secrets
That Helped Make Him So Rich."
-OR-
"Dying Millionaire Agrees To Reveal
His Secrets Of Wealth And Success."
-OR-
"Millionaire's Private Diary Found ...
Reveals Little-Known Secrets Of Success"
Do you get it? The whole point here is
to think up a headline
that is different from what thousands of other mail order dealers are
saying. BE TRUTHFUL, but find an intriguing way to say it!
Stop all
the, "Get Rich By Mail" nonsense. People are tired of this vague,
generic, nonsense! Ask yourself, "What is unique about my offer?
Am I
the only one offering this plan, product or service? What is
unique
about ME that I can play up? Am I a farmer with a great money
making
plan? ("Idaho Farmer Says, `Growing $20.00 Bills Are As Easy
As
Growing Potatoes When You Follow My Plan!'") Am I losing my hair?"
("Bald Man Offers The Only 24-Hour Print & Mail Service.")
Make sure
you put a picture of yourself on everything if this describes you!
You will become well known very quickly!
Are you a big or tall man or woman?
("6_5, 275-Pound Man Offers
The BIGGEST Big Mail In The Industry!") In this case, use a photo
...
taken from floor level to emphasize your size ... on everything!
Are
you a great fisherman or woman? ("Fishing Expert Says, `Hooking
PEOPLE are as easy as hooking flounder when you follow my secret plan
to build up your down-line!'")
Get the idea?
And this is extremely important:
If you remember only one point
from this entire month's newsletter ... remember this one. BE
SPECIFIC! In other words, don't say, "Make A Lot of Money."
Say, "Make
$32,098.00 in 4 months." Don't say, "Mail Order Dealers Love
the
Fishhead Advertiser." Say, "176 Of Today_s Most Successful Dealers
Advertise In The Fishhead Advertiser ... 92% Repeat Every Issue."
Don't say, "Send For My Big, Big Mail." Say, "... 25 Publication
Big Mail."
or "... 104 Piece Big Mail." or "... 3-1/2 Pound Big Mail." Why
be so
specific? Because specifics are more believable than even figures.
It tells readers that you actually sat down and counted. That
builds
your credibility. And the more credible you are, the more likely
people will buy from you. So ... BE SPECIFIC UNTIL IT HURTS!
Let's take a peek at another ad, shall we?
AD CRITIQUE #3:
36.6%
I'm currently mailing a circular pulling 36.6% in sales!
I_ll send you a copy for a long, stamped #10 return envelope.
Now we're cookin'! This guy has something
here. Check it out.
First ... his headline is very S_______C. Were you
able to fill in the
blank? Good for you! The headline is SPECIFIC! He
doesn't say, "I'm
Getting Many Orders." He is on target with an exact figure, "36.6%."
Hey look! He isn't saying just 36%. He is going all the
way and saying
that extra .6% too! Good job!
Could this guy get even better response
to his ad? Definitely.
How about if he said something that gave more of an idea of his offer
in his headline rather than just a number...
"Circular Pulls 36.6% In Orders ...
Yours Free For The Asking!"
This way this chap tells everything right
up front. Remember:
60% of the readers will read just the headline and no more. In
this
case, they_ll read "36.6%". This number alone means nothing.
So you
gotta hook your fish the right way before he swims to somebody else's
bait! Onward!
Are you learning? Great!
Now, keep paying attention here ...
class is not over yet.
AD CRITIQUE #4:
MAILERS
Join The Kristo Mailers Club.
A bonanza for the small mail order dealer.
Now take a look at this ad. Is
there something wrong with it?
Before I say anything ... you tell me! Yes ... something is wrong.
First
of all, let's look at the headline. It says simply "MAILERS."
That's all.
Okay. Now you can argue that it does target its audience.
In other
words ... it will attract Mailers, and that's who this advertiser wants
to attract. If you said that, I'd surely agree. The problem
here, in
that case, is that even if we read the rest of the ad (the "body
copy"), we discover something amazing... NOTHING! This ad contains
no
BENEFITS. No reason to get us interested in responding.
All it says
is "A BONANZA FOR THE SMALL MAIL ORDER DEALER." Yes, okay, a
bonanza, but what the heck is a bonanza? A bonanza of what? Money?
Membership benefits? Printing discounts? Free ads?
Commission
Circulars? Tuna fish? WHAT???
Let's stop for a minute to catch our
breath. I need to make a
point here. I want to teach you about what I just mentioned regarding
the ad above. I said, "BENEFITS." Play close attention
now, because
I'm going to give you the facts ... clear and straight. If you
pass this
over lightly and do not incorporate it in your ads, you may as well
pack up now and try a different business. If you don't put BENEFITS
in
your advertising, whether it_s an ad, brochure, sales letter,
WHATEVER, then kiss your money bye bye!
Now before you start puckering up ...
let me show you how easy
it is to load your ad ... and headlines especially ... with so many
powerful benefits that it will make your readers' heads spin.
First, let's examine what a benefit is
in advertising terms.
Benefits are those things that offer the reader value. And as
the
word implies ... they are things that directly benefit him or her.
Is a
benefit the same as a feature? NO! NO! NO!
You must learn the
distinction! A feature is simply a component of a product or
service.
For example:
PRODUCT:
1993 Rolls Royce Silver Spur
FEATURE:
Leather Seats
BENEFIT:
LUXURIOUS COMFORT
***
FEATURE:
Wilton Carpeting
BENEFIT:
THE SOFT FEEL UNDERFOOT
***
FEATURE:
Rolls Royce Engine
BENEFIT:
POWER, CONTROL,
SUPREME RELIABILITY
***
FEATURE:
Dignified Styling
BENEFIT:
THE FEELING OF POWER AND SUCCESS
Get it? The features are the attributes.
The benefits are what
you get from the features. And it_s the BENEFITS that entice
people
to buy. People want to know how your money-making plan will benefit
them ... they_re not much interested in the kind of paper it_s printed
on.
Now that we've straightened that up,
let's return to our
"Bonanza" ad. What we have to do to improve this ad is:
(1) Create our
benefit headline and (2) Load the copy with benefits. Look how
much
more exciting and persuasive the following copy is now ...
Thousands of Dollars in
Mail Order Discounts
... If You Can Qualify!
Join the Kristo Mail Order Club and enjoy: (1) 25% off Printing!
(2) 15% off time-saving Rubber Stamps! (3) FREE Money-Making
Commission Circulars! (4) FREE Money-Saving Advertising
Consultation! (5) FREE Newsletter to Keep You Informed!
(6) AND MUCH MORE! FREE DETAILS! Send LSASE today to:
See, it's not so hard, is it? All I did
was take (what I thought
might be) the benefits of joining that club and just list them!
Adding
the sneaky, "If you qualify" it gives the offer a flavor of exclusivity
... like not just anyone can join. Remember: People want what
they
cannot have. I also capitalized and bold-faced the word "FREE"
whenever it appeared (it_s a magic word!) and added energy by using
exclamation marks! My question to the person who placed this
ad is,
"If your club offers such a great bonanza of tuna fish, er, benefits
...
then why didn't you tell me what they are?"
Look ... you don't need a full page to
write a good ad. In the
sample ad above, I condensed the details. So Can You. In
fact, little
one inch ads can be tremendously successful, but you have to say the
right things! You have to pump up the benefits!
Okay ... let_s review what you_ve learned ...
1) You_ve learned that about 60% of all readers will read your
headline and no more, so YOUR HEADLINE MUST BE STRONG!
2) You now know that in order to stand out, YOU MUST GIVE YOUR
OFFER
UNIQUE "POSITIONING" ... the "slant" or "angle" as newspaper reporters
call it. Give your main benefit a twist and say it in your headline!
3) You learned that you can USE SOMETHING UNIQUE ABOUT YOU, your
background, your appearance, your hobbies and more, as one way to
develop your positioning!
4) You now know it_s extremely important to GIVE READERS SPECIFICS
because it increases believability and thus, response!
5) And you learned the differences between Features and Benefits.
In order to persuade people to buy, you must LOAD YOUR COPY WITH
BENEFITS! (This is the #1 secret of successful ad-writing ...
and I_m
NOT kidding!)
Okay, that_s enough for now. But
don_t leave the Emergency
Room yet ... this operation is only half complete!
Be sure to join me next time and we_ll
continue this surgery
with the next upload! Until then, I wish you health, happiness
and
prosperity!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Drew Eric Whitman, D.R.S., [a.k.a. "Dr. Direct!(tm)"] is an outspoken,
humorous and philosophical advertising trainer, speaker and
columnist with 15 solid years of hands-on experience. His newspaper
and magazine articles teach thousands of business people how to use
simple, but powerful techniques of Madison Avenue psychology to help
them boost their advertising results.
He was a Senior Direct Response Writer for the direct response
division of the largest ad agency in Philadelphia. He was also
Senior
Direct Response Copywriter of one of the largest direct-to-the-
consumer insurance companies in the world. He created powerfully
effective advertising for small retail shops, to giant, multi-million
dollar organizations, including Faber-Castell Corporation, Texaco,
Veterans of Foreign Wars, American Automobile Association, Amoco,
American Legion and many others.
* Studied for 3 years under internationally known advertising
legend
Walter Weir.
* Certified by world-renowned NLP trainers & developers Robert
Diltz, Todd Epstein and Judith DeLozier for Advanced NLP Creativity
and Innovation Strategies.
* Neuro-Linguistic Programming(tm) (NLP) Design Human Engineering
(tm) and Training Design Specialist. Personally trained by, certified
and registered with Dr. Richard Bandler, NLP co-developer.
* Certified Hypnotherapist. Member: National Guild of Hypnotists.
* Studied under international trainers David Gershon and Gail
Straub
for facilitating human potential training.
* Certified Instructor for United Way/V.I.T.A.'s "Decisions" inmate
rehabilitation program.
* Member National Speakers Association.
* Featured in "Who's Who in Professional Speaking."
* Developer and producer of nationally known AdPOWER!(tm) Clinic,
a dynamic, high-energy seminar that gives audiences a virtual
"truckload" of Madison Avenue tips, tricks and techniques in 90
Roller-Coaster Minutes(tm). Especially suited for the entrepreneur,
homeworker and small business person.
* Author of "The Dr. Direct!(tm) AdPOWER!(tm) Clinic Action Guide."
A
30,000+ word manual that tells how to apply 40 of the most powerful,
response-boosting techniques to your ads, brochures, sales letters
and more.
DREW ERIC WHITMAN, D.R.S.
Direct Response Surgeon(tm)
Post Office Box 6144 * Philadelphia, PA 19115-0144
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